I've believed for some time now that everything happens for a reason, even the worst of things, the things that you'd rather block out and forget and just deny completely, even them things, they all happen for a reason, that's what I believe and like I said, I've believed that for a while now.

I don't know what the whole reason behind all of this is but I know it's going to be okay. I know I don't have to be so self involved now. I know it's okay to be scared and that's not through you anymore, that's through me and  me allowing myself to be taught that via you. That probably makes no sense whatsoever but that's the thing, to me, it makes perfect sense. It makes sense because of you but at the same time, not because of you at all.

It's nice to be proud of myself for a change, it's probably all going to go tits up, as it often does, whatever 'it' is but this is what it is now. I'm rambling, making no sense yet sounding utterly clear. That's it, i've finally cracked.

You know this is your biggest mistake, what a waste, what a waste, what a waste.

:)