26 February, 2010

This is what it's all consisting of right about now...

LOADS of song lyrics... I'll never be the same, if we ever meet again // You look at me, it's like you hit me with lightening // I've been telling you with my eyes, my hearts on fire // Veux ton amour et je veux ton revenge, je veux ton amour // If you care to find me, look to the Western sky, as someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly // You put a spell on me, I don't know what to do // What's somebody like you, doing in a place
like this? // Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? Well
you should try sleeping in my bed // If you want love, we'll make it, swim in a deep sea of blankets // I'm all out of luck, all out of faith, I would give everything just for a taste // Nobody likes to but I really like to cry // Why is it so above as below that i'm missing you everytime? I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening...
“The truth is: I’m terrified of the future. I’m absolutely horrified of failing. 
I just want to be somebody. Somebody great. I wish I was more like you, you're my somebody great.”


"I love you in a place, where there's no space or time and I love for my life cos you're a friend of mine, and when my life is over, remember when we were together, we were alone and I was singing my song for you."

I really hate how money seems to control everything.
I really hate how fast everything is going.
I really hate the responsibility.
I really hate feeling like i'm being forgotten, even though deep down, underneath everything, I know i'm not.
I really hate how i'm really quite unhappy with how I look, not just my weight and stuff but like, my hair and face and stuff, all of it' just generally not very nice.
I really hate how much of a worrier i've become and how much I worry about looking out for the people I care about.

^^^ I don't know how true all of that is, I just kind of started typing and that's what came out.
Score!
I've had an okay day today, was up at the crack of dawn (8am *dies* I know that's not that early but for uni, it really really is.) to get up and get ready for my presentation which was at 9 so yeah, did that and to cut a long, rather annoying story short, the presentation was pushed back until 10am so me and Josh kind of roamed about, it's fine I got a free bacon sandwich off him ;P The presentation went pretty well, i'm glad it's out of the way now... Never before have I rambled on about global technology and the media and the city of Liverpool :') I really amaze myself at times because that strange Alan man seemed to love it. I got rrreally sleepy in the lecture after the presentation and had a little nap, it was pretty incredible i'm not gonna lie, this was after I realised the woman giving the lecture looked like Konnie from Blue Peter... Oh she was a delight...
Odd blonde boy who was intent on ruining my nap: "It was pretty bad when Prince Harry dressed as a nazi but if that was one of our friends we'd find it funny..."
Konnies evil twin: "Um, I don't think i'd find it too funny if one of my friends was dressed as a nazi!"
Some randomer: "ARE YOU HITLER?!"
Yeah, welcome to Edge Hill kids!!
The lecturer woman/Konnie also declared that her writing was like 'a five year olds with special needs...' so yeah, I think a nap was the way forward.

This weekend should be gooood. Hayley and her friend Crystal are coming to stay and my cousin Mel and her friend Sam are coming aswell, house party tiiiimes. Parsnips better get better by then *growls* Yeah, i've got mixed feelings about it, it's either gonna go really good or completely crash and burn, it's fine i'll just have to get everyone wrecked :)

Oooh, I went on some travels with Emma aswell, we went and got some teeny tiny screwdrivers and some drugs from Ormskirk. The drugs were for Emmas evil cold, it's fiiine. Um, I spent my night in Winnies room with Win, Nic Nic, Emcakes and Ems having Ems read aloud what she wanted me to type for her essay, good times all round. I ended up copy and pasting pictures of celebrity men in suits onto her work though. We all ended up in Jens room before where I got a bit too excited with the cashew nuts, now I feel a bit sick :( I'm not sleepy at all cos of all my naps that i've had today (I fell asleep this afternoon back in my room after the lecture...) so yeah, wide awake now, it's fine though cos i'm not in till 1 tomorrow.



20 February, 2010

"You can be whoever the fuck you want to be!!"

LITERALLY CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS WOMAN RIGHT NOW!!

Not overly sure what to put in this title bit (:

Cos they too busy livin’ the high life, the night life, huggin’ the high way, livin’ large, and they all say sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough, and things go wrong no matter what I do, now and then it seems that life is just too much but you've got the love I need to see me through...

I'm waiting for my mum to wake up and shout at me to shut up singing You've got the dirtee love :') We're not as bad now which is good, there was bad times there but i'm not going into that one anytime soon...
So yeah, you've got the dirtee love, cheeky bit of dizzee and florence, absolutely amaaaazing! She won best album of 2009 at the brits and I actually screamed, I felt like some kind of proud mother or something!
 
Hmm, i'm trying to think of what's been going on. Well, it's my reading week, kind of coming to an end though, it's been pretty unproductive really. I've not slept in my bed in my room once all week which is pretty odd but it's fine, gives room for the tent I guess (oh my life is a joke!). I've had some Cat tiiiimes which have been lovely, consisted mainly of pizza hut, the princess and the frog, lady gaga and her not cooking my fish fingers correctly, nothing out of the ordinary there then :P Ahahaha, all the girls from uni have just rang me scrrrreaming Million Dollar Bill down the phone! It was hilarious, last night in the middle of the concert, my phone goes and I answer it cos it was in my hand anyway and I just heard them all scrrrreaming Bad Romance at the top of their lungs :') I actually stood there just laughing... I've missed the a lot this week :/ Things haven't been amazingly amazing at home either which hasn't really helped. Blah.
 
I found a pretty picture of my Disney couture necklace that I got for my 18th on some random website before...
What else has happened? I bought myself some new stuff! My birthday money is now officially gone, to be fair it was never really here I spent it that fast, oh wellllll. I got some new heels, a dress, a jumper, some make up crap and the skins boxset, series one, two and three :) Quite impressive really... I've also finally sorted Pollys birthday presents out which is gooood. I had some pancakes and had some quality time with the grandparents which was lovely, it's my nanas 60th birthday party tomorrow (yes, I know, young times, we've been through the fact that my mama was only a baba when she had me, well, 20 but to me that's a baba..) which i'm really looking forward to (: Emma and Emily are coming to it, cheeky bit of a family reunion, crazy relatives on hand to buy drinks all night, dancingggg, 'she puts on a good spread!'... It's gonna be a good'un I can feel it!
 
I'm STILL trying to sort my itunes out, it's so hard! So far I have 2050 songs, that's like 2 or 3 thousand less than my old itunes had :/ It's pretty fun though, loads of old random songs keep popping into my head which is always fun...
 
I've come to the definate conclusion that I want to go and see Wicked in London, please please pleeeease pretty please!! I can't stop listening to the soundtrack, Emma is an absolute sweeeetie, she sent me For Good and was like, THIS IS ME AND YOU!! :D Awww, it gets me all goosebumpy and stuff...

RAWWWWR

"Some girls won't dance to the beat of the track, she won't walk away but she won't look back..."
- The amaaazing Lady Gaga < 3


Me, Cat, Britt and Bexx went to see Lady Gaga at the MEN last night, it was pretty amazing if i'm being completely honest. At the time of me being there, I wasn't really taking it all in like I should have done, her songs get to me in a really odd way, it's really strange cos no other singers do that the way she does... I know I really like a singer or whatever if they get to me and she does but it's really surreal, not overly sure why. I was watching a news report thing the other day about her being amazingly talented and stuff but she takes the attention off her talent with her fashion which I think is just rubbish cos every aspect of that woman is damn incredible.

"I created the monster ball so that all the freaks were inside and the doors were locked..."
♥ ♥ ♥

13 February, 2010

CBR + JM + JL = < 3

I'm not quite sure what the overall point of this blog is going to be, then again, am I ever?

I'm on the biggest chill out music session of my life, it's incredible.
Corinne Bailey Rae + John Mayer + John Legend = LOVE.
You know what the most amaaazing thing is, I think they've got a song that they're all on...
Oh my gosh, i've actually just fell stupidly in love...


Oh wow, there's John Mayer, casually just joining in on the guitar... Oh hello John Legend on piano. Wow, this is immense.

Okay, stepping away from the musical beauty now *ohmygosssh, gravity, nomnomnommm* and onto other things... I think i'm going to dye my hair in my week off, something a bit different, maybe something a bit lighter so if it messes up I can just go over it darker? Hmm, we'll have to see
I'm going to treat myself to some new converse aswell I think... I have quite a bit of money just waiting at home for me, along with a brand new camera, i'm pretty excited about that one i'm not gonna lie.
xo.

12 February, 2010

"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars."

I keep thinking about the fact that I know who i'm definately going to be living with for the next few years and it makes me feel so stupidly lucky. I mean, no disrespect to the other corridors here at the lovely Maggie B cos I love everyone a lot and stuff but I honestly couldn't have been asked to be put with a better group of girls (along with Rhia who lives on Autism Lane and Emma who lives directly below me, it's fiiine!).







These girls, Emma, Emily, Polly, Nicola, Rhiannon and Bronwyn =
Ems, Emcakes, Poll, Nic Nic, Rhi Rhi and Winnie... Are my best friends.
They know pretttttty much every single thing about me. They have seen me so drunk that I don't know what the hell i'm doing. They have seen me cry. They have seen me laugh so much I can't breathe.
We spend too much time cotching in my room. We have the weirdest memories. We kiss farrr too much on nights out. We tell each other everything.
We are well good to be completely honest.

I wouldn't change them for anything. X


I'm nineteen now...

Fun tiiiimes.
The whole blog thing has been failing a bit, not to worry, not to worry... Loooooads of stuff's been going on, let me give you the overall, slightly odd, jist :)

My birrrrthday! Had an amazing time, much better than I thought actually :) Gnome stayed over on the Saturday night which was lovely, ended up with her and all the Maggie B beasts, amongst a few cheeky KF lads and weird 30 year olds in Alpine. My nana, grandad and sister visited on my actual birthday which was nice, Hayley ended up staying over which was a right laugh, hello war with KF :')
Oooh! I got loads of things on my birthday list! I gotttt, A camera (decided to get that instead of an iPod, i've not even seen it yet it's at home :P) Friends extended boxset, Mrs Doubtfiire, John Legend cd, Morrissey dvd, Florence poster (yeah, that's right, I have two now, amaaazing!!), not one hot water bottle but two, hello mr brown dog and buzz and woody... Umm, I can't remember what else was on the actual list but I got some other lovely things aswell, a necklace, a bracelet, a build-a-bear, a florence tshirt, money money moneeey, loads of stuff really :)


Carrrrnage on the 8th Feb! Oh lord! It was Winnies birthday aswell :))
It was a weird one to say the least, it consisted of us going into Liverpool, everyone realising they needed a wee on the train, me bumping into Kerry Lee Gale on the train, Emily getting in trouble for throwing a bottle on the floor, a plastic bottle, not a glass one :') Going to some weird drug crazed packed place called The Office, going to Reflex, also known as 80s heaven on earth, oh hello Wham! Um... Krazyhouse *Love love!!* where I saw Grace McGuire :)) Having my picture with big lady gaga and beyonce pictures, stealing the red beads, ripping a lot of tshirts, being called Tess for the night, getting a taxi back to uni at 4.30 with Emma and two random Americans, having to give one of the Americans a piggy back to halls, making spaghetti and beans at 5.30am... Good night all round really :')

I'm tyna think about if anything else has really happened? It's all been a bit of a blur to be completely honest... Damn Catharine being in Rome!! I'm not sure why but it's made this past week draggg quite a bit, I keep thinking today is Saturday but it obviously isn't. I'm going home for a week tomorrow, hello reading week. I swear i'm hardly here anymore. Blah. All my group of girlies have buggered off aswell :/ Well, Winnie is still here but is going later so tonight it's just me and Ems Buble, so it's all gooood.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/skins/4od#3030978




this episode of skins just made me cry. a lot. score.

03 February, 2010

Cough medicine, tissues and throat sweets at 6:40am.

I have tried everything and I mean EVERYTHING to get to sleep.

I changed my pyjamas. I listened to my iPod. I lay in the dark. I turned the radiator on. I turned the radiator off. I had the tv on in the background. I lay in the pitch black in silence... It all still resulted in me lying in bed coughing like an absolute idiot so I have give up. I'm sat here, typing this, with Sex and the City on in the background. My lesson is at 10 so it's all good *cries*

It's fine though cos I found a picture of Rhia's future house...

Beautiful.

< 3 = I love how you sound when you answer the phone. I love it when you get all stressy. I love how much you love your pet fish. I love it when you text me every morning between 8am and 9am, don't ask me why, I know it's precise but yeah. I love it when you wind me up. I love it when I make you laugh. I love it when my friends love you. I love listening to songs that remind me of you. I love winding you up. I love how much we've been through. I love how passionate you get about things. I love how stubborn you are, yes, at times I hate it but shh. I love that we don't have to go to the end of the earth to prove how much we care because it's already been done, millions and millions of times. I love that I know that we will always be in each others lives. I love that i've never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I love that I must sound like an absolute slushy bitch typing this but I honestly don't care. I love that I could keep this list going on and on and on...

Lady G.


I'm sorry but give me 'Bad Romance' and 'Speechless' over 'Paparazzi' and 'Pokerface' any day.
They are two of my favourite songs, ever...
Especially Speechless, it's perfect.

I can't believe what you said to me, last night we were alone,
You threw your arms up, you gave up, you gave up.
I can't believe how you looked at me with you James Dean glossy eyes,
In your tight jeans with your long hair and your cigarette stained lies.

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I'll never talk again, oh boy you've left me speechless,
You've left me speechless, so speechless.
I'll never love again,
Oh friend, you've left me speechless, so speechless.

I can't believe how you slurred at me,
With your half wired broken jaw,
You popped my heart seams,
On my dreams, bubble dreams.

I can't believe how you looked at me with your Johnny Walker eyes,
He's gonna get you,
And after he's through,
There's gonna be no more love left to rye.

I know it's complicated,
But i'm a loser in love so baby,
Raise a glass to mend all the hearts of all my wrecked up friends.

I'll never talk again, oh boy you've left me speechless,
You've left me speechless, so speechless,
I'll never love again,
Oh friend, you've left me speechless, so speechless.

After all the drinks and the bars that we've been to,
Would you give it all up? Could I give it all up for you?
After all the boys and the girls that we've been through,
Would you give it all up, could you give it all up?





Musical beauty? Yes, I think so.

What a pointless day i've had.

I woke up at like, 11ish and was fast asleep again by 1. I went out to the shop, bought myself some magazines, got in bed and watched Will & Grace, when Emily had finished her lessons, she joined me. We both fell asleep within about 20 minutes. I ventured out again in the evening to do my washing. Joy.

Things became a bit funner in the evening though, me and Emma went to McDonalds for our tea and rented The Ugly Truth and I bought Thelma and Louise, a film i've aaaalways wanted to see. We ended up watching 500 Days of Summer and The Ugly Truth, then Polly joined us and we got scared that Maggie B has a ghost. I had a shower at like midnight. I watched Shameless with Nic Nic and Emma and now here I am, got to be up at 9 but it's fine, i'll sleep like a bitch tomorrow, hello gym.

I had a revelation before, well, about 20 minutes ago, I was doing my thing, watching Grammy videos on youtube because i'm cool like that and have decided that these two women are two of the most incredible people on the planet. EVER.



I'm so lucky to say i've seen them both live. I saw Beyonce on her own and with Destiny's Child and I saw Gaga at that Rockcorps thing and am going to see her again on the 18th of February and i'm getting prettttty excited now, i'm going to live in the house of Gaga so it's fine.

IMMENSE.

It is four days until I turn nineteen...


Not quite sure what to make of it, for reasons i'm not going into.

Should be good though :)

01 February, 2010

LOVE


IF A DOUBLE DECKER BUS, CRASHES INTO US,
TO DIE BY YOUR SIDE, IS SUCH A HEAVENLY WAY TO DIE,
IF A TEN TONNE TRUCK, KILLS THE BOTH OF US,
TO DIE BY YOUR SIDE, WELL, THE PLEASURE AND THE PRIVILEGE IS MINE.

"You have to leave, I appriciate that, but I hate when conversation slips out of our grasp..."

^^ That line is gorgeous. The whole song is gorgeous.
Not even the line itself, just all the memories and stuff that it brings back. Oh hi nostalgia!
I swear, Maximo Park are absolutely GENIUS.




Summer or Winter?

I like Autumn because everything seems all orange and weird, I just had to go and be awkward didn't I? Okay, I pick Summer then, i'm getting a bit fed up of Winter now...
What’s been the happiest time of your life to date?
*Thinks* Okay, that's rrrreally hard... I can think of a lot of things but i'm not gonna type it, hello cringe fest :)) I will say this though, it's so nice that a lot of the happiest times relate to doing normal everyday things with one rrreally special person, that's pretty cringey but rather nice aswell. Also, when I got into uni, that was an immense feeling...

Saddest time of your life to date?
The really big stuff? Most recently, 16th February 2009, the end of February 2009, March 2009, July 2009.
Before that? Probably some random times in years 9 and 10, it's weird to think that the weirdness balanced itself out and it flipped to me having some of my happiest times, strrrange. Christ on a bike, year 12. An awful lot of year 12 was horrible.
Wow, miserable?!

Do you ever wish that your life had been different?
Every now and again I will go into one of my weird trance like states and imagine things if they'd been different, it often happens when i'm feeling rrreally miserable and right there in that moment, I wish everything was different. I can't help it, it's just what I do. I wish that I could take every event and tweak it ever so slightly, sometimes just for the fun of it, sometimes because i've gone over wanting to make things so different so many times... Then everything becomes a bit clearer and I think about what i've got, who i've got, what i've lost and who i've lost, i'm not over the moon with the results for the things/people i've lost but i'm so happy with the things and people that I have and that counts for everything. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even the rrreally horrible stuff, I don't always know what the reason is, sometimes you never know, sometimes it's there straight away but that's what I believe. No, I don't wish my life had been different, i'd like to change some things but I can't and that's probably for the best.

What scares you?
The dentist. I am stupidly afraid of the dentist, i'm not even sure why. I remember when I was younger my mum got really freaked out at the dentist and I was there, maybe that's what's stuck with me? Anyway, I hate it, if I ever get tooth ache I freak out completely because of that. Bleh, snakes aswell, no, no, no, I do not like snakes. I'm not very fond of blue pen either, it actually makes me feel sick, it used to be really bad but it's not so bad anymore... Okay, I sound mental, score.

What makes you happy?
Ummm, lots of things. My family, they are the biggest bunch of weirdos but have stood by me through absolutely everything, even when i've not wanted to stick by myself, when i've wanted to like, turn into someone else, they never allowed me too and always made me feel like I was enough. Aww. Then there's Catharine, actually would not be me without her, it freaks me out a bit because I rely on her an awful lot and I used to hate relying on anyone cos I was convinced i'd get let down but we kind of balance each other out and yeah :) My gorgeous friends, from Naomi to my uni girls to everyone in between, I love them all to bitssss. Hm, what else? The usual crap, music, sleeeeping...

Would you say you’ve changed much recently?
Define recently? Well, yeah, I guess. I'm changing all the time, everyone is but some things and some people are worth staying the same for and some things and people are worth changing for... It's all very odd...

Do you regret anything that you’ve done?
I like to think of the whole 'no regrets' thing because, as good old Robbie Williams once said, they don't work. He was right, they don't work at all but of course I regret stuff, not loooooads of stuff because that would be a waste of a life but yeah, I do have regrets but I can't do anything about them now.

Who has made you happiest in your life so far?
A lot of people make me so happy but when it comes down to it, Catharine Crowson. End of really.

Who has hurt you the most?
Steve but then at the same time he hasn't cos he doesn't deserve the role of having such a big impact on me. Tosser. Then there's Ellen and Cat but that's completely different cos a lot of that was my doing I guess...

How?
It doesn't really matter anymore cos what's done is done and I like to think that i'm strong enough to forgive and stuff...